14 posts from 2006

I smoked one Camel light last night. Didn't enjoy it. Didn't smoke another one.

But I stopped counting the days.

I'm treating myself to a day spa on Sunday instead of cowboy boots. I'm not quite ready to retire my boots yet and snow is coming, so I won't be able to wear them until Spring anyway.

I guess tomorrow is my last day of the regimen. It's been pretty easy. A lot easier than I thought. I've barely even thought about drinking and smoking.

I've lost weight. Booze is high in calories.

I have a gnarly cold, so I don't feel like my immune system has particularly been bolstered by the experiment.

I'll try to take a picture tomorrow for the before and after. I look like doody right now with red, watery eyes, and a sore nose from blowing it too much. My lips are all cracked, too. I may have to take back what I was saying about not being able to look much worse than the day one picture.

The real question is do I continue the non-drinking part of this through my Thanksgiving trip to Iowa. I definitely need to not take up smoking again, and not drinking makes not smoking a breeze.

The other question is what kind of cowboy boots do I want.

I haven't been updating this very frequently because the experiment has become sort of boring to me. I've gotten into a habit of not having a beer and not smoking and I don't really even think about it very much.

Last Friday we went to Chris's birthday dinner, where everyone was drinking wine. I had tea instead. I like tea. It kept me up all night, though. Gotta be careful of that. Other than that one evening, there hasn't even been a context where we were around other people who were drinking.

I find that I'm craving stimulants more than usual (hence the tea), probably to replace the nicotine. I wish that I could say that I generally felt better, but I don't. I feel pretty normal. Tired and in need of more exercise.

My circulation has noticeably improved. My fingers don't get tingly for no apparent reason. I think my cellulite may have diminished somewhat. I haven't had chronic cold feet. This is the main noticeable benefit to the new regimen.

30 days is up in 7 days, but I'm thinking about prolonging the experiment through to the end of the month. I'm going to see my parents in Iowa over Thanksgiving and my mom smokes like mad all day long, even in the house. It's going to be a challenge not to smoke around her.

Guess I've been pretty busy this week. I spent the weekend catching up on Nanowrimo.

I went over to Brian and Aaron's house last night and drank sparkling water while everyone had wine. I turned down a cigarette and it put me in a grouchy mood. I was in a funk already, but I'd have liked to have had that smoke and it made me feels sort of angry to turn it down.

I'm still in a pretty foul mood.

Yesterday I came home at about 5:30 after a fairly stressful time having a meeting and then trying to do some work in a Starbucks with deathly slow internet. I knew I was going to have to work again in the evening. When I walked into the kitchen, Elly and Helmut were having wine and I really, really wanted some.

I din't want some really because I wanted some. It was a grumpy desire to drink knowing if I did I wouldn't be able to work effectively later on. It was rebellion against having to work in the evening.

I felt like saying, "fuck it!" and getting drunk. This is something I do from time to time. I know I have something to do in the morning but I don't really want to do it. I should work on this or that project. No, no, no! I will get rebelliously drunk and stay up until the wee hours.

I ended up doing some work and going to sleep at 11.

Today I had another long day of work, but it was more satisfying. There were visible results and I could feel like I really accomplished something. When I finished, I had some supper and worked on my Nanowrimo novel.

I have thought about smoking a lot today, and wanted a cigarette.

Mainly this is because I am addicted to cigarettes, but it is also because my father in law has been driving me nuts today going on about the Muslim threat. Be afraid! Be afraid! He would be happier if we all lived in dread like he does. Too much Fox fucking News will make anyone feel the fear, but I don't really get all the proselytizing.

Right now I'm overhearing Erik and his father argue about politics and hoping it doesn't get ugly.

Partly I'd like to smoke just to piss Helmut off.

I think it's good for Helmut to have a political discussion with someone smart like Erik, but I'm not sure how good it is for Erik. I think it will make him feel sad for a week.

Another day without pictures. Maybe tomorrow.

I've been remiss in keeping this thing updated. I skipped days 5 and 6 completely.

Working backwards. Yesterday, Sunday, day 7. We had a fairly busy day. Sunday walk in the woods, lunch out with friends, dinner with the in-laws, who are staying with us. Daylight savings time. I'm still feeling the fatigue I've been experiencing lately. I just remembered that I had a dream last night about asking a doctor for something for my fatigue. Maybe I should take some vitamins.

Saturday, day 6, was Halloween party night. We dressed up and went out to a far-away party waaaay out at a golf clubhouse in the suburbs. It was an eartly party and it ended at 10 pm. I won a prize for my costume. This was a kind of fund-raising party with acquaintances a little older than we are. My costume this year was a streaker. I made myself an enormous penis and sewed it to some flesh-colored undies, I wore a flesh-colored top and a raincoat.

Flashing people is a high in itself.

After this party we went to Hall and Oats Aween at TT's. That was really fun. We got there at around 11. Lots of people were dressed up. My costume was highly appreciated. I flashed a lot of people on the steet in Central. Had a great time. It was interesting being in a bar and not drinking. I had a coke at one point, which was mostly ice. The thing I missed was the social aspect of standing outside smoking with the cool kids. I always have fun conversations and socialize a lot out in the smokers' exile. Without the smoking, it's just not the same. I have to make an effort to find a new ice breaker.

A friend we met up with at TT's was disappointed that we didn't want to party all night until dawn. Erik was the one who was reluctant to party. He seemed fairly uncomfortable most of the latter part of the evening. His Klaus Nomi costume was very uncomfortable, yet he didn't want to take it off. He was also doing a very good job of staying in character as he had concieved it. But I bet Klaus would have partied all night and them some, actually.

Day 5, Friday, Erik's parents arrived for a visit. They're staying for about a week. We usually drink a lot around them. I've noticed that we are less sociable in the evenings and everyone is going to bed a bit earlier than during past visits. Helmut is drinking gin with lemon these days. I love gin. The smell is nice.

Generally speaking, I don't really think about drinking all that often. Maybe it's because I'm busy busy, or because I have just decided that I'm not going to drink or smoke for 30 days and so I've turned off the beer and cigarette part of my brain temporarily. It's sort of like I've elimintated the possibility, or made absinence easier by putting a time cap on it.

I know in the past when I've tried to quit smoking, thinking I was going to try to quit smoking forever, it really irks the addicted part of my brain ("Quit smoking forever?! Are you nuts?") and I become obsessed with not smoking, which is actually exactly the same thing as being obsessed with smoking.

I haven't been doing a good job at taking daily pictures, but I do have two pictures from Halloween.